My older brother got married last night. I am officially the last cousin remaining single. I turn 30 in less than 2 months and I could not be more thrilled where I am today. I have a great career, I am completley independent and do well taking care of myself. I am so happy for him, so happy he truly found his best friend in his wife. Through all the festivities though, not one time did I yearn for that for myself. I was supposed to be married with 2 children by now according to my "American Dream" written at the age of 14. I didn't take that path for myself, but I'm okay with that, almost ecstactic at loving myself. I will go to London if the offer stands which will make my 2007, my 30th year the most amazing life-changing year to date. I knew all of my heartache would pay off and finally I am taking my deep breaths, I can look at myself in the mirror and love the person looking back. I have to believe in fate, destiny...I told myself I would never settle, and damn...I have stuck by that. I could have taken the easy way, the comfortable way, but I veered off path and thankful every day that I did. Thank you for the lead, thank you for telling me I'm more than what I even know. I wish all the best to all my friends and family in '07, I'm going to take care of myself, you are on your own to take care of yours. I am cutting the ties to all of those that say they 'can't live without me'...you need this as much as me. I have a great guardian angel that is giving back to me what he knows I deserve and I thank God every day for that.
*I miss your crystal blue eyes gramps, I will see you again though, when my time comes, I will feel the hug I have missed for over 3 years now. You are my strength, I will do this for you. I will show you the ocean through my eyes, I will show you Europe. Love and Miss*