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Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

Subject:Mother's Day...2014
Time:3:50 pm.
My mama is all done with her chemo treatment...she looks like a cancer patient now.  The mama that was supposed to live forever, the mama that never drinks much, never smokes, never did any drugs.  She has lived a simple life, taking care of everyone, always smiling.  I want her here forever, she understands me best...she is the one of few that I truly know would die for me.  Of course life isn't fair...but she doesn't deserve this, she doesn't deserve to now be so very scared to live life free of worry, free of pain, exhaustion...I want her back, I want many more years with her and I pray I get that.  For her, she deserves to live and share that smile with so many more people, so many more times.  She looked like a cancer patient, she was insecure about her buzz head, her hat, her fingernails, toenails, every part of her.  I hate this.
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Monday, December 28th, 2009

Time:4:18 pm.
I've been waiting...because I don't really know how to say this nor know if anyone reads this anymore.


I am the story people read about...pit bulls killed you in front of me. I let you down and didn't protect you the way I should have. I will not let you die in vain, I have to make a difference. I miss my dog. Maybe people don't understand, I guess I don't care. I miss you and I'm sorry.
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Thursday, October 8th, 2009

Time:9:00 pm.

  • 14:33 Lord...hear my prayer for L.Dee and Easton. #

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Wednesday, October 7th, 2009

Time:9:00 pm.

  • 10:00 They say 22 million suffer from anxiety...I'm pretty sure I have it worse than the other 21,999,999. #

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Friday, August 28th, 2009

Time:9:00 pm.

  • 19:14 DJ AM? Survive a plane crash and can't survive the drugs? RIP. #

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Monday, August 24th, 2009

Time:9:00 pm.
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Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

Subject:I miss Cancun...
Time:2:30 pm.
I miss Cancun...
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Friday, June 26th, 2009

Time:7:00 pm.

  • 21:26 Rip Michael Jackson....so much left to do. I hope you didn't die alone.. #

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Thursday, June 25th, 2009

Time:7:01 pm.

  • 14:31 Six years since gramps passed, RIP, think of you everyday! Love and miss... #

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Thursday, June 18th, 2009

Time:7:00 pm.

  • 16:41 She's having a boy! #

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Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

Time:7:00 pm.
  • 20:54 I am more scared of being married than having a baby, that can't be good! #
  • 21:23 Just want it long enough for a pony tail, is that too much to ask? #
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Monday, June 15th, 2009

Time:7:00 pm.
  • 15:03 Yep...I fell for the April Rose scam. Its quite depressing. #
  • 16:44 I can now sit in traffic without having a panic attack! Only if I know the cause of the traffic tho...baby steps! #
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Saturday, April 25th, 2009

Time:7:00 pm.

  • 22:02 I just wish he would ask if I'm okay. #

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Friday, April 24th, 2009

Time:7:00 pm.

  • 16:33 I would change a lot of my past if I could. And, I hate pt cruisers, sorry to offend anyone. #

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Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

Time:7:01 pm.
  • 10:17 Just stopped to clean off 'bug guts'...this is gonna be a long trip. #
  • 10:19 And she does not quit talking. #
  • 12:24 She still has not stopped talking...its starting to make me anxious. #
  • 14:00 She told me it was a two block walk, I have on heels and its more like a 5 mile walk #
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Wednesday, November 12th, 2008

Subject:Tweets for Today
Time:9:37 pm.

  • 06:06 Mini vans have to drive in the fast lane #

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Wednesday, July 16th, 2008

Subject:Tweets for Today
Time:8:07 pm.

  • 14:14 Testing from phone #

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Thursday, July 26th, 2007

Subject:Grease is the word.
Time:8:15 pm.
12 years ago I graduated from high school with a 4.2.
8 years ago I graduated from college with a BSBA.

4 years ago is when I had my first panic attack that I actually defined. I realize more and more everyday that I had symptoms long before that, I just never knew what they were. I left in the middle of an interview one time because I could not breathe and felt so depersonalized, I just up and left and cried all the way home. Those that know me the best, dismiss 'anxiety' or 'panic attacks' as something a person like me would never have. I try to teach them, explain it to them, but on the outside I put up a great front. I am very outgoing, I hide behind humor, I was always popular, always a jock, but I'm also a girl with panic.

I have traveled all over the states, Europe and soon Mexico. I have not missed a dose of my Paxil CR for over a year. My xanax is always by my side for those 'moments' that may come. I have just decided this is a part of me whether anyone close to me believes it or not. I passed up moving to London, but today after six brutal interviews...I was announed Sales Supervisor and given a promotion.

I drove home tonight, freaking out about traffic, just wanting to get back to my couch, my comfort, my People's Court and I have to laugh because I just fooled another group. I am me and I guess I need to love me before anyone else can. Trust me, I have ups and downs and still anticipate anxiety but I learned from Grease when I was young (The Pink Ladies): you have to act cool, to look cool, to be cool.

All my best...sorry for length
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Thursday, March 22nd, 2007

Time:9:41 am.
My London journey will be blogged through lj, user name jme_london if you would like to keep up on that part of my life. Thanks, love and miss.
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Monday, January 1st, 2007

Subject:2007
Time:10:56 pm.
My older brother got married last night. I am officially the last cousin remaining single. I turn 30 in less than 2 months and I could not be more thrilled where I am today. I have a great career, I am completley independent and do well taking care of myself. I am so happy for him, so happy he truly found his best friend in his wife. Through all the festivities though, not one time did I yearn for that for myself. I was supposed to be married with 2 children by now according to my "American Dream" written at the age of 14. I didn't take that path for myself, but I'm okay with that, almost ecstactic at loving myself. I will go to London if the offer stands which will make my 2007, my 30th year the most amazing life-changing year to date. I knew all of my heartache would pay off and finally I am taking my deep breaths, I can look at myself in the mirror and love the person looking back. I have to believe in fate, destiny...I told myself I would never settle, and damn...I have stuck by that. I could have taken the easy way, the comfortable way, but I veered off path and thankful every day that I did. Thank you for the lead, thank you for telling me I'm more than what I even know. I wish all the best to all my friends and family in '07, I'm going to take care of myself, you are on your own to take care of yours. I am cutting the ties to all of those that say they 'can't live without me'...you need this as much as me. I have a great guardian angel that is giving back to me what he knows I deserve and I thank God every day for that.

*I miss your crystal blue eyes gramps, I will see you again though, when my time comes, I will feel the hug I have missed for over 3 years now. You are my strength, I will do this for you. I will show you the ocean through my eyes, I will show you Europe. Love and Miss*
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LiveJournal for Jaime.

View:User Info.
View:Friends.
View:Calendar.
View:Memories.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.